All public tweets about Rez Week 2012 at UT Austin. Yoik!

Hello world. If you’re still following me, then I’m sorry for the unfamiliar name that is suddenly appearing on your dashboard. If you unfollowed me, then I wish you the best with your Tumblr travels. May your future follows post more often than I do.

Here’s a long post for you. Read if you dare.

Recently, my mind has been flooded with many thoughts concerning one focus: my career. I am a Mechanical Engineering student, but my resume screams Software Engineering. I chose MechE to change the world with one engineering solution at a time. I wanted to make a real impact by making real products. Yet, here I am with multiple developer positions under my belt. I’m not saying that software companies aren’t making a real impact, I just wanted to build real physical products. So, WHAT AM I?! Engineer or developer? Ah, but this frivolity is for another time. What’s more pressing is of a deeper resolution.

Do you know those feel-good stories told by pastors and speakers everywhere? Where a kid is changed by Jesus and becomes a ninja missionary in a godless land? I’ve heard so many. I feel that many churches/fellowships measure success by how many of their members went into a full time ministry position. “Yes lads, your very own [insert church/fellowship] alumni/member is now making 1.4 converts a day as a missionary in the land of Catania (the ‘c’ is pronounced like an ‘s’). And did you know [insert another member from church/fellowship] is now a full time pastor at the giga-church up in [urban city]? How wonderful!”

Perhaps you feel there is a bitterness in my tone. There is none. But it has made me think, “so I’m not a success if I don’t go full-time ministry? They won’t mention my name during feel-good-story-sharing meetings?” That part doesn’t really bug me. The thought that was most pressing was, “what happens if I just simply become an engineer/developer. I’ll get $80k-ish a year and live in a good house and go to church and serve the Lord.” That option felt so empty compared to the grand stories of missionaries abroad.

But.

Just a couple days ago, such a simple question concluded all my worries. “If there’s nobody to be a salt and light in the workforce, how will they ever get a chance to see and hear about Jesus?” Yes yes, it is quite a simple question. A very obvious one too. But I never really thought about it. Now, I’m at peace with where God will lead me. I no longer have to feel like I’m not being the best Christian I can be if I choose to go to the workforce. Because the truth is, the souls working in the soulless companies need Jesus just as much as the souls barely living in the starving countries.

It doesn’t mean that God is calling me 100% to the workforce or missions. I don’t even know what I’m going to do after I graduate. It just means that I am confident that wherever I go, God will use me in a way that is glorifying to Him.

Thank God for the gospel in giving me purpose and meaning in Jesus so that I don’t have to strive for purpose and meaning in the world. For the former leads to life, whereas the latter leads to death, burn-out, and chasing wind.

At the beginning of the year, I was so excited to be like this to people.

Now, I’m this:

Desperately trying to refill the wax every single day. Every day. Every day.

Now, I can insert some paragraph about how Jesus lifts me up. But I’m tired. Perhaps I’ll insert a poem about how I’ve found peace amidst my schedule. But I’m tired. No, a verse will suffice. But I’m tired. Or what about a picture of me and my top [insert number between 1 and 5] best friends that has helped me keep going and not give up. But I’m tired. Maybe I should just put an inspiring story about how God saved somebody from drugs and death that I can’t relate to. But I’m tired. What else can I put here? Maybe some good quality picture of a silhouette of a cross on a hill with perfect lighting and a bit of lens flare. But I’m tired. Maybe I can’t put up any of these because I would just be lying. I’m not going to post anything but those two pictures and this useless paragraph.

______________ and _________ is ____________, but Jesus.

joanfidelia:

Too freaking cute!
from my mama to my papa:) 

It was my father’s 52nd birthday. Here’s to great parents and marriage.

I haven’t posted in a while. Junior year is going to be busy. GF, SG, AACM, SpeakSocial, PUC, everything else. Summer was great. JPMC, CCF, GF. Followers, see you in a month. Or longer.

Also, I had a random idea to make this image:

Inspired by people like Alex and everybody else, including Andrew Meyer.

Also, as I was making this image, I was talking about putting a logo on my resume, and Cliu suggested I make this as a watermark background on all my resume sheets. Definitely contemplating it.

Pressing forward in love through captivation by Christ.

Jonathan Chang getting his head stuck between the bed frame at his first SG appearance.
Ryan Pang having a dream world where he can poop without wiping.
Daniel Tan discovering lolcats for the first time, interrupting scripture study.
Thomas Liu stating that the SGL sucks and demanding that he be in charge.
Kevin Hu squishing his nose/head/face with another member’s textbook.
Brian Huang adjusting one of the ML’s pants in the crotch region.
Joseph Kwan laughing hysterically at all of the above.
Vernon Chong somehow getting lost on the way to every SG.

Someday, I’ll write an entirely too-long-didn’t-read post about my SGL experience and my Sophomore year as a whole. Maybe. For now, I leave a snippet of funny Freshmen members moments during SG for my own sake, and for your entertainment. For those who were in my SG, I’ll let these moments slip past our motto of “Whatever is said in SG stays in SG”.

AACM Spring Break Mission Trip 2011. I will not fill your newsfeed with what I learned, what I did, nor what I felt. I will tell you what I want.

The first passage on the first night we studied was this:

They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe at the many wonders and signs performed by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.

Acts, Chapter Two, Verses Forty-Two to Forty-Seven

So basically, the community did many things together: worship, fellowship, eating, prayer, etc. They had all things in common. Yeah that’s a good thing, of course. They did this with glad and sincere hearts. Yes indeed, that is very good. The Lord added numbers to them daily, but there were no mentions of “being sent out” or “reaching out” or “being missional” or any other trigger evangelism words. How so? The community was so attractive in their devotion to praising, praying, and fellowship that they found favor with all other people. They drew people into the community.

This is where I get excited.

Villa Nueces. AACM 2013. Yea, there’re going to be 40+ people from my Christian community living within 30 seconds from me next year. I’m so excited to live at Villa Nueces my Junior and Senior year because pretty much everybody I know will live there also. However, I feared that this great comfort would keep me holed up in my Villa world and not be sent out to other people outside. What if my fear of being stuck in Villa was replaced.

What if… Our Villa Nueces community lived out the passage from Acts. What if we worshipped God gladly together, what if we prayed for each other all the time together, what if we devoted ourselves to God’s teaching and living it out together. There’s that open space in the second floor where we can convene. What if we became just as attractive as the community in Acts. “By faith, sent out” could be “by faith, sent out to bring in.” Let’s bring people into our community. Don’t force them in. We have to first transform our community into an attractive, God-loving, sincere-hearted community. (“Attractive” does not mean good-looking in this post.)

Another thing. Throughout the mission trip, they were pushing us to grow a heart for the poor. To help them and live out God’s commandment to help those in need. All this pushing started to overwhelm me. I mean, AACM is already pushing me to be sent out sent out sent out. Now I’m being pushed to help the poor help the poor help the poor? Should I go tutor children, should I go visit East Austin and help out the community more, should I go help out at soup kitchens often? In addition, the leaders in the mission trip talked about reconciliation of races. Why hang out with only people of your own race? So what should I do? Grab meals with OneWay and TGF and LaFe people more, go to non-Asian organizations? Even more, there’s leadership in AACM. That takes sacrifice in time and energy.

Are you keeping up with me? Three things being pushed: being sent out, helping the poor, racial reconciliation. Plus leadership. I’m overwhelmed. But then I thought again about the community in Acts. I thought about Villa Nueces. There’s no way I can do all these commandments by myself. I would get tired, bored, lonely, burnt out. I need community. We need community. More than just weekly small group scripture studies, more than just praying for each other at a monthly “one on one” at J2, more than just a random Brothers in Christ meeting. We, the community of Villa Nueces, need to live out these commandments together. I don’t exactly have a detailed explanation of how this can be implemented. But as a single Christian, I can’t do everything myself. As a community, we can do all things.

So, AACM 2013 of Villa Nueces, what say you? (I am not being exclusive to those not of Villa13, I’m just using Villa Nueces as a practical example.) Let’s worship together, let’s pray together, let’s learn together. We need each other. Let’s be so attractive that outsiders will look at us and wonder why we are so joyful that they can’t help but feel drawn to us. And through community, let’s share the commandments of God. Let’s be sent out together, let’s help the poor together, let’s lead together. Let’s love God together.

There’s so much more I wanted to say, but this is already too long for my taste. Please ask me in person.

is sg

—my sg

Hello followers who’ve forgotten I have a Tumblr. Here’s another quad-annual post for you. So, I never post the “I learned something awesome in the scriptures and must post it on Tumblr” posts because: 1) It’s not daily I learn something super awesome, 2) I feel it’s not my place to share such things, as I have much more to learn than to share. But here’s something neat that I’ve come across:

The Gospel of Matthew, Eleven, Twenty Eight to Thirty

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

I’ll cut to the chase. When we are weary and tired, we come to Jesus and he GIVES us rest. But the passage does not end there. The best part comes next. When we take his yoke, his work for us, his calling, we FIND the rest that we’ve been longing for ourselves. Rest for our souls. In the Greek, “find” means to come across something we’ve been searching for.

Perhaps we are tired and weary from the labors of school, relationships, clubs, commitments, exercise, and many more. And so we come to Jesus, and he gives us rest. However, if we stop there and do not take his yoke, we’re not going to FIND the rest for our souls we’ve been wanting so badly.

Paradox: It’s only through doing the work of Jesus do we find true rest from the work of the world.

I can’t tell you exactly what your yoke or your rest will be. You be the engineer and apply the natural science.